Keep the car running...

Some songs take a while to grab me, yeah?  Oddly, ever since my sister's death, "Keep the Car Running" by Arcade Fire has been haunting me. It feels like an upside down, existentialist prayer to me... like Camus had access to the Book of Common Prayer, a hurdy gurdy and a muscle car.

There's a weight that's pressing down
Late at night you can hear the sound
Even the noise you make when you sleep
Can't swim across a river so deep
They know my name, cause I told it to them
But they don't know where and they don't know when
It's coming...

There's a fear I keep so deep
Knew its name just before I could speak...
Keep the car running

What grabs me is that it feels like tears and release - sorrow and grace - at the same time.  It also feels like God is saying:  you don't have to understand all of the complexities you are feeling, man... cuz even in that place where animals go when they die I am there.  So... keep the car running and keep in the race.  It is part St. Paul, St. Allen Ginsberg and St. Bruce Springsteen with a sacred Canadian aesthetic.  Only I'm singing/playing it at half this speed  so I can feel the ache...

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