Tonight, after a church supper, I am headed out to play my first jazz gig EVER! I've been working at the bass again - practising and taking lessons as well as doing my own study and drills - but tonight is trial by fire time. I should be fine on the oldie pop tunes - and I can cut a decent reggae groove - but when we start doing "Take the A Train" or "Fly Me to the Moon" I know I am out of my depth.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE those songs, but I don't know the genre well enough to feel truly confident. So, this is all about flying by faith and trusting that what I know will be good enough - and that I will learn from my mistakes. Richard Rohr of the Center for Contemplation and Action has been writing about "adult spirituality" of late - learning about the way of the heart during the second half of life - and he is very clear: unless you are open to learning from you mistakes, you'll wind up a cranky, tired old grouch who is afraid of life.
I expect that sometimes tonight I'm going to be totally bewildered. At other times, I'll get the root notes but not a whole lot more. And when I least expect it, too, something wonderful is going to happen. That's the thing about faith: we are not in control. All we can do is watch and wait and respond when the moment is right. I am grateful for the chance to start playing with my jazz buddies so that I can get some good mistakes under my belt... and really start to swing!
PS: so the gig went reasonably well. LOTS of mistakes for me - but not more than some of the other guys, too - which was humbling and encouraging. I still have ENLARGE the charts so I can really read them in the dark. And I have to start listening to some of the jazz standards so I can get a feel for them. And I have to keep practising my scales and turn arounds. But... for a first time gig, I have done LOTS worse! What's more, Andy is a killer at working the crowd and we threw in tons of old rock and roll which made me feel right at home. A very sweet night and I am grateful. We even did "Play That Funky Music White Boy" by request!
Ah, a wall--and each wall is a beginning of growth. Know what ya mean, brother.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, a wall and growth and failure and blessing all at once!
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