Confession and surrender to God's grace...

While serving my first church back in Saginaw, MI, I had the stunning revelation that just below the surface of so many beautiful faces was a world of pain, grief, shame, anger and fear.  I knew that was true for me - in many ways I was one of the walking wounded - but I was still both too self-absorbed and untested as a pastor to know that what is most deeply personal is also most universal.  It is one of the upside-down blessings of grace that the more I owned my own sin and brokenness - and practiced surrendering it to the Lord - the more love and patience I discovered for others who were trapped in lives that were alienated from God's love.

Theologian James Gustafson writes that one aspect of human sin has to do with "misplaced trust or confidence, wrongly ordered objects of desire, and corrupt rationality and disobedience."  Another Reformed thinker, Howard Rice, notes that "honesty requires that (for the) community to be grounded in God we must first recognize our brokenness."  One prayer of confession gives these insights shape and form:

Almighty God, you come to me to release me from feelings that are difficult for me, like sadness or grief, loss or disappointment, fear or anger, feelings in which I am caught because they are so painful for me. To my mind, release means that I will no longer have these feelings. To your mind, release means that I will be able to have them and allow them to come and go as necessary. Today I confess that I hold on to my understanding of release - and trust - even thought I know from experience that my way makes my life harder...

Such is the agonizing prison of misplaced confidence and wrongly ordered desire, yes?  Have you ever been with a person addicted to their wounds?  One whose entire sense of self is shaped by holding on to their brokenness come hell or high water?  We all do this to a degree, I suspect, but then we literally grow sick and tired of being sick and tired and wounded by sin... and that's where prayers of confession can bring a ray of light into our darkness. By naming and releasing our misplaced confidences to God, we start letting God be the center of the universe rather than our wounds. 

By letting go, we create a small, still place in our hearts and minds for grace to multiply the miracle of nourishing, healing and cleansing us from the inside out.  These prayers give us a working road map so that we don't have to figure everything out for ourselves.  And when it comes to releasing our sins, we need all the help we can get.  As Marilynne Robinson writes:  Wisdom is usually just another name for humility - and humility is the reservoir of understanding purchased by learning from our mistakes and sins.

Almost every day I see signs that we are too afraid to trust that God's grace is greater than our sin.  Not only do we refuse to let go, we keep blaming others for our continued agony.  So much energy in our current culture is given over to blame and shame when it is so much easier to practice confession.  Another prayer from Reformed Worship by Howard Rice cuts to the chase:

Merciful God, we are always wanting our due. It is easy to see what we should receive, but somehow we are blind to our responsibility. We work to save what we do not even want and value objects over people. Help us to know your mind, O Christ, and learn your way.  Commit us to building the place where all are welcome and all are cared for...

A prayer from the United Church of Christ Book of Worship is equally on the money:

Gracious God, our sins are too heavy to carry, too real to hide and too deep to undo. Forgive what our lips tremble to name, what our hearts can no longer bear and what has become for us a consuming fire of judgment. Set us free from a past that we cannot change; open to us a future in which we can be changed; and grant us grace to grow more and more in your likeness and image; through Jesus Christ our Savior...

Now here's the thing: every prayer of confession is always a path to blessing because regardless of the tradition - Reformed, Roman Catholic, Orthodox or Anglican - these prayers must be married to the assurance of pardon.  And that may be one of the reasons people find it so hard to confess:  we don't really trust that God is God.  We have misplaced desires and trusts, yes?  Still, despite wars and rumors of war - beyond the wicked and horrible things we do to one another and ourselves - even the most unspeakable acts  flooding our news - I trust by faith that God's grace is greater than human sin.  This assurance of pardon and promise gets it right:

Our Lord spoke of the Kingdom of Heaven, comparing it to a great feast where all are invited.  Those who were unworthy were invited in; those who prided themselves on being the best were asked to sit near the back.  This is the good news, beloved:  that we are all invited to the feast to taste God's love.  And the most gracious part of that love is divine forgiveness.  For in Christ Jesus our Lord, we are made whole and set free from our sin.  Thanks be to God. Amen.

credit:
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2) authenticmission.blogspot.com
3) mako fujimura - tree of grace