In a word, Bass reminds us that without honest discernment of how we will spend our time, energy and resources, we will likely be consumed by commitments that cause us drift from one obligation to another; or else find ourselves so exhausted and resentful of our lives that we withdraw and hide from reality in desperation. Whether the challenge involves possessions or people, time or treasure, it is easy to be seduced by either greed or guilt - or both. "Slowly, perhaps even bitterly, we come to realize that we do not own our possessions, they own us." (Bass) I would extend this to include our calendars, iPhones and bank statements. Without an on-going practice of quiet discernment - amplified by accountability and encouragement by loved ones with wisdom - we will be devoured by those who want to use us, forces that seek to manipulate us or events that simply overtake us. T.S. Eliot evoked the madness of a world hell-bent on more when he wrote "Choruses from 'The Rock'."
The endless cycle of idea and action,
Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
All our ignorance brings us dearer to death,
But nearness to death no nearer to God.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
"If we are to enhance and build up the capacities for a good, wholesome and holy life," Bass
Over the past few weeks I have bumped up against both the wisdom of this practice and the challenges of continuing to live into its promises. Various people in my circle of church life have wanted what increasingly feels like a piece of me - certainly of my time. And when I start feeling like people are closing in on me - feeling resentment and/or exasperation - it is a clue that I have not been honoring the sacred no. Thank God I have a cadre of colleagues - and a beloved life companion - who help me reclaim balance and perspective. "We're going to print up some cards for you," they told me yesterday, "with just one word: NO. And you can start passing them out whenever somebody approaches you." As one said to me, "Don't people GET that you are going to be away and OUT OF THE COUNTRY for four months?" Um... well... obviously they don't.
Perhaps it is too much to think that they would. After all, most of my public relationships are built upon my availability for their needs. Such is the paradox of the pastor - and the challenge each of us faces in the practice of saying yes and saying no.. For even when I maintain strong professional boundaries and honor the Sabbath with NO work, email or phone calls, the rest of the week is often shaped by an understanding of the pastor that Stanley Hauerwas calls a "quivering mass of availability." Already I have annoyed and frustrated some by insisting that at this time in my life - with thirteen days before our departure on sabbatical - I really cannot and will not make time for anything except emergencies. Most of my church leaders "get" this, thanks be to God, and for this I rejoice.
About once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light. These people can be in any walk of life. They seem deeply good. They listen well. They make you feel funny and valued. You often catch them looking after other people and as they do so their laugh is musical and their manner is infused with gratitude. They are not thinking about what wonderful work they are doing. They are not thinking about themselves at all. When I meet such a person it brightens my whole day. But I confess I often have a sadder thought: It occurs to me that I've achieved a decent level of career success, but I have not achieved that. I have not achieved that generosity of spirit, or depth of character.
Each of the other articles point to this core truth from Brooks: we have created a culture that is long on information and short on wisdom. We are obsessed with having more - and inflating ourselves - when the precise opposite is the time tested way to both joy and meaning in our lives. (read more from Brooks here: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/12/opinion/sunday/david-brooks-the-moral-bucket-list.html?_r=0) Brooks continues to confess that given this discovery, he, "realized that I wanted to be a bit more like those people. I realized that if I wanted to do that I was going to have to work harder to save my own soul. I was going to have to have the sort of moral adventures that produce that kind of goodness. I was going to have to be better at balancing my life." He discovered the need to learn how to say yes and to say no.
Already I am sensing that nourishing this very discipline is not only important in preparation for our sabbatical, but will be part of what we practice, test and talk about while experiencing our sabbatical. In the few days that remain on this side of our "magical mystery tour" I pray that I can be simultaneously ruthless about protecting our preparation time while living tenderly with those charged to my spiritual care. I pray that I can accomplish what needs to be done in the present moment while also working towards an extended time away. I pray that as I see the choices set before me I might choose life rather than death in all its forms.
credits:
1) lacedwithgrace.com
2) www.justinbuzzard.net
3) www.blc-denver2.org
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