Why a sabbatical now...

I am preparing a "pastoral letter" to my congregation in anticipation of our upcoming sabbatical. Doing this helps me be clear about why this experience has such deep value to me. Part of my writing includes the following:

Not long ago someone asked me, “Why are you so weary, James? And why does this sabbatical mean so much to you?” Those are good questions – they warrant careful answers – so let me share three broad replies.  First, there is grief:  in the past ten years – eight of them in ministry at First Church – I have encountered eight significant deaths including my mother, father, sister as well as Dianne’s mother and members of our various congregations.  The accumulation of sorrow has been draining and I have found it exhausting. This is simply one of the facts of life.

Second, there is the nature of my calling to church renewal work.  It is daunting enough to work with dedicated lay leadership in re-energizing a congregation for mission and ministry.  For the past eight years we have creatively strategized and implemented new worship experiences and deepened our attention to both pastoral care as well as compassionate administration. Simultaneously we have remained steadfast in our commitment to finding the necessary resources to keep our historic Sanctuary open, beautiful and hospitable. To do this in the midst of a profound economic collapse – let alone the internal grief born of my predecessor’s brain injury and early retirement – increased the stress and anxieties exponentially. It has been a full, challenging, wonderful  and tough eight years.

And third, at this moment in my life I realize that my focus in ministry is profoundly different from when I was ordained in my home church.  As a young man, I was certain I was going to change the world: I was on-fire for radical social, racial and economic justice and impassioned about world peace. I took delegations of adults and youth to the former Soviet Union. I became active in an inter-racial electoral team to transform the Cleveland Public Schools – and was twice elected to public office. 

In time, however, I heard another call – no less radical and certainly no less creative – but one born more of the inward journey.  I rather like Fr. Richard Rohr’s call to both contemplation and action – and longed for that in my ministry, too.  As I spent more time resting in God’s grace, I discovered that I also wanted to bring a measure of healing and hope to our broken culture through the prayer and the arts.  I discerned that there could be common ground between Right and Left as well as people of vastly different religious and cultural backgrounds if we came together in beauty and truth. That is the part of this sabbatical – in addition to the rest and renewal – I am keen to explore more thoroughly. Visiting the various jazz and liturgy sites in NYC, Nashville and Pittsburgh will be helpful. Resting in prayer and practicing upright jazz bass in Montreal will be another piece of this puzzle. And spending time not “being on” – time in quiet with Dianne – will be the third component of this sabbatical that I already cherish albeit in anticipatory form.

The countdown clock tells me it is 17 days before departure. There are two more Sundays to celebrate, one more church council and few more essential meetings. In some ways, "Elvis has already left the building" so I pray for the patience and perspective to remain engaged.