Already my friends, clergy and lay, have been sending notes of gratitude, sorrow, encouragement and counsel - and I am deeply moved by their tender wisdom. I am particularly touched by the insights my clergy friends have chosen to share with me. One noted that after decades of holding the secrets of others, we wear out. True in spades for me. Another said it is a sacred privilege to carry so many truths that cannot be spoken out loud to another in our hearts and flesh; and, there comes a time when we are all full up and must let it go. Some have noted how our older bodies (and ears or knees or backs) don't quite hold up the way the used to. Others have confessed they lost the ability to smile and be silent when they wanted to cry "Bull shit!" And a few articulated that the Body of Christ is always broken. Jesus knew this and not much has changed since his death, resurrection and ascension. Besides, they wryly smile, even Jesus only hung around for 40 more days! In other words, to every thing there is a season.
Shortly after arriving here one of my doctoral profs called and asked if I would speak to a class about to graduate from the Masters of Divinity program about "what I wished I'd learned in seminary." It was an honor and I gladly participated. During that hour I underscored things like:
+ Ministry is a public relationship - so make sure you have friends outside the congregation, too. In fact, MOST of your friends should be beyond the parish.
+ Understand from the get go that congregational leadership really doesn't believe that Jesus was the Word made Flesh. if they did, they would have to pay you a living wage. In fact, as most Conference Guidelines suggest, they would have to pay you so that you and your family could live like they do. (Check it out if you think I exaggerate whatever your denomination.) Rest assured, friends, I told them, it almost NEVER happens - and if you don't know this going in, it will make you bitter and drive you out fast.
+ Two thirds of those who gather on Sunday morning treat church as an add-on. They're NOT bad people for doing this. They are not adversaries. They simply have a minimalist commitment to discipleship. Most are too busy. Some have never learned the wisdom of the Cross. And a few have consciously chosen to cede their children's ethical development to popular culture. Now I have given 25 years to celebrating a still speaking God who uses popular culture to nourish compassion, awe and justice. But you have to have ears to hear, otherwise you treat beauty like garbage and fail to claim the sound of the angels in the midst of the chaos.
+ Never ever do ministry expecting gratitude. Your blessings come from becoming smaller - a servant - not one of the celebrated guests. 21st century culture doesn't honor clergy the way it did 50 years ago. But even if it did, besides the cloying and patronizing displays culture offers in public, the way of Jesus is not about getting thanks or respect from society or even the congregation. That means you need a spiritual director so you don't put whipped cream on bullshit or give in to despair. And you need an inner life so you aren't addicted to outward praise.
+ And last but not least: never give up your call as theologian in residence. You are the one trained theologically. You are the one who consciously thinks about Jesus in building a budget. Or hiring a staff person. Or using the building as a resource rather than an albatross. And all the rest. This is where St. Paul's analogy of the body is essential: lay leaders have their gift and YOU have yours. When they are blended - when business insights are bathed in theological depth - holy decisions can be made. Jesus taught his disciples to "make friends with unrighteous mammon... to live as wise as serpents and gentle as doves." When one or the other of these elements is missing... let's just say in 40 years I have seen it go south real fast.
So a profound thank you sister and brother clergy for being in touch with me over the past 24 hours. I love you more than ever. Nobody knows who you are but my heart rejoices today in ways it hasn't for some time...
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