Maybe someone will say to you, “You have to forgive yourself.” But that isn’t possible. What is possible is to open your hands without fear, so that the One who loves you can blow your sins away. Then the coins you considered indispensable for your life prove to be little more than light dust that a soft breeze will whirl away, leaving only a grin or a chuckle behind. Then you feel a bit of new freedom and praying becomes a joy, a spontaneous reaction to the world and the people around you. Praying then becomes effortless, inspired, and lively, or peaceful and quiet. When you recognize the festive and the still moments as moments of prayer, then you gradually realize that to pray is to live.
On Tuesday, I prayed, lived, ate, danced and sang in community with those I love. On Wednesday I did some planning, praying and talking with a wise and faithful colleague and then helped cook dinner for my friends at La Source. Today, before driving back home in the glorious autumn sunshine, I shared in a retreat with the Spirituality Committee of L'Arche Ottawa as we assembled this year's spiritual life calendar. One of my new commitments is to spend about a week each month in community in Ottawa so that my soul can be fed, my gifts can be shared, my joy can be replenished and I can have proximity to my friends. L'Arche, you see, is an experiential spirituality that cannot mature in abstraction nor ripen from afar. It will be a full and challenging year of listening, learning, waiting and praying with my whole self. I love these words from the founder of L'Arche, Jean Vanier, who wrote:
When we want to change people, we have power. We have goodness. We have generosity. But we create a cleavage when we want to do good things for people.
The quest - the journey - the challenge as well as the blessing is acceptance: radical, revolutionary, quiet acceptance.
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