While shopping for household goods and pain meds at Wal-Mart this morning, I stood six feet behind an angry Anglo woman who berated the Asian clerk when informed that only one package of hand-wipes could be purchased at a time. "Did you tell everyone ELSE that," demanded the customer? "Your shelves are EMPTY! How did that happen if you can only buy one package at a time?!" And before the clerk could reply, this person of privilege continued, "When did this policy start? How do I know you're telling me the truth? I've gone to three other stores in search of hand-wipes and they were all gone, too."
At first I looked on in incredulity: was she REALLY only buying hand-wipes? And bitching-out the clerk for a policy that inhibits hoarding? Was she aware at all that her anger was exaggerated? That the cashier didn't set store policy? That this exercise of bourgeois frustration directed at an immigrant employee who HAD to be at work was mean-spirited,ugly and quite likely racist? I nudged my shopping cart forward, bumping hers a bit to interrupt the harangue and said, "Really?" She turned and literally snorted at me, grabbed her small bag and proclaimed to no one in particular and everybody in general, "I don't want to take up any more time here... but this is truly unfair. Doesn't any body else care?" She then stormed off in a fury.
Stepping forward, I tried to catch the cashier's eyes, but she was all too well-acquainted with such inexcusable behavior. I asked, "Are you ok?" And with resignation she nodded saying, "So now she gets to go home and stay safe while I have to work. What about my safety? My family needs to eat, too, you know?" Then she looked at me - and we held one another's eyes for a few awkward seconds. I nodded and replied, "I hope you can be safe, too. I am so grateful for your help today." But by that time she was putting a receipt into my gloved hand, turning to check out the next customer in silence, and steeling herself for what was likely to be more agitation. I read that the Surgeon General warned this morning that "NOW it's going to get much worse." There will be more deaths announced, of course, but there will be more irritation, too. More anxiety, rudeness, public racist belligerence and worse. I wonder how long we will endure before violence breaks out?
Dianne and I sat soberly together before bed last night acknowledging out loud some of our fears for the next few months. For the time being, we will be safe and our income will be relatively stable. But apprehension is growing within and among us: just read some of the fearful comments on Facebook from people living in the Berkshires. We have just entered the second full week of social shut down in Massachusetts and already some of us are rattled. The governor just declared a State of Emergency for our state and that will push the fear level up as well. We don't yet know the ages of those in our community who are now infected - that data will be announced soon - but given the demographics for Berkshire County you know it will be the elderly. The worries on-line about how Covid-19 is being spread here involve the virus being passed on gas pump handles.
Last night, a wise and gentle Martha Wainwright who lives on Rue Marianne in Montreal hosted an eight minute Facebook concert on her balcony. She sang Leonard Cohen's "Goodbye Marianne" as well as another chanson in French that I did not know. Some three thousand people joined her on-line from all over the world - and some out on their balconies, too. I played my guitar along with her and Di and I both belted out the chorus: "Now so long, Marianne, it's time that we began, to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again!"
That was confirmation for me that now really is a good time to take my live-streaming gig beyond helping friends at a local church during their search for an interim clergy. How did St. Paul put it in Philippians 4? "Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, set your mind on these things." The President will keep up the fear-mongering. His toadies will troll the internet and spread more nativist hatred and lies. So why not add some tenderness to the mix? Some beauty and encouragement? I see musicians and artists, actors and poets, museums and concert halls sharing small doses of human dignity every day. When I sensed that God was calling me out of local church ministry, I took a few years to set the stage for a new way of living as I discerned what might come next. At the close of last year, when I felt it was
time to step away from some of the music I was doing, I didn't know what would follow - just that one path was ending before the new one came into view. Being a part of last spring's California wedding gave me a clue - as did the recent live stream worship - and now even more clarity has arrived.
My effort won't make much of a difference. I was pleased to see that last week I had 350+ views, but that's not going to endure. Still, this small project makes sense to me. It resonates with my deepest belief even as I struggle to trust that small is holy. In fact, in writing this I am realizing that this should be the name for my live-streaming project of poetry, prayer and spiritual reflection. I am going to start small - just Facebook streaming for now - before trying to include You Tube. I am going to keep it simple without a lot of technology, too. I still have to find a reasonable way to get a license for using contemporary music as that is foundational to how I practice my spiritual disciplines. But for now I will just use tunes from the Public Domain until I can figure out the legalities and fees. I trust that those things will become clear in time, too.
I will be using my spiritual direction Facebook page to live stream each Sunday morning at 10 am. Tune in and send me your comments as the broadcast unfolds @
https://www.facebook.com/Be-Still-and-Know-913217865701531/
I hope you will choose to join me. Pass this on to others, too if you can. I would appreciate you spreading the news. Until then, let's all keep safe as we practice the wisdom of Pooh.
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