balance and gratitude: don't give up

The video clip above comes from my worship leadership yesterday at First Congregational Church, Williamstown, MA. It is a reflection on the pattern of the Paschal Mystery. I am grateful to the leaders and members of First Church for welcoming me and inviting me to share reflections with them during these truly challenging times.

This morning I read these words from the late Henri Nouwen - and they resonated deeply. It is intriguing to me how I can feel disconnected from a writer's wisdom for months and then, mysteriously, her/his words strike something alive within me and I am energized by this unexpected gift.

It is the task of everyone who cares to prevent people— young, middle-aged, and old—from clinging to false expectations and building their lives on false suppositions. If it is true that people age the way they live, our first task is to help people discover their lifestyles in which “being” is not identified with “having,” self-esteem does not depend on success, and goodness is not the same as popularity. Care for the aging means a persistent refusal to attach any kind of ultimate significance to grades, degrees, positions, promotions, or rewards and the courageous effort to keep men and women in contact with their inner self, where they can experience their own solitude and silence as potential recipients of light. When one has not discovered and experienced the light that is love, peace, forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, and deep joy in the early years, how can one expect to recognize it in old age? As the book of Sirach says: “If you have gathered nothing in your youth, how can you find anything in your old age?” (Sirach 25:3–4). That is true not only of money and material goods, but also of peace and purity of heart.

Brother Henri's words speak to me on two levels. First, I tend to lament the goals

in ministry that were NOT realized rather than honor the many that came to pass. Perhaps this is normal in a culture that has made the bottom line an idol. Still, on the days when I am working out in the yard or garden, my mind often drifts back to what might have been but wasn't. And after a few minutes of melancholia, I must consciously say to myself: Let it go, brother, let it go and if you must look backward consider the blessings and joys rather than those place of emptiness. I was looking for a missing photograph this weekend and, in the process, spent a few hours looking through a huge box of pictures. So much to celebrate, so many wonderful people, such a precious family. It was a healing exercise into the very reality Nouwen describes: a bounty of blessings over decades. I brought up from the basement maybe 100 photos (not the ones I am still searching for) to use as a visual icon of God's gracious presence in my life. I trust it will help keep me grounded in both reality and the present moment.

The other part of Nouwen's insight that continues to speak to me has to do with my own aging. I have been modestly healthy for 68 years. After a recent physical with my doctor friend, however, a blood test revealed a higher than healthy level of bad cholesterol. That hit me with a dose of mortality and impelled me to start making a few changes in my diet. During a pre-retirement seminar some ten years back I was stunned to hear a presenter say: "Most of you will live at least another 20-25 years after you end your current ministry." A quarter of a century would put me well into my late 80's and if family history is a piece of the puzzle, that is likely to be true. Meds can help - and I begrudgingly filled the prescription - but attitude and activity matter and I am intent on staying healthy and engaged for as long as possible.

You see, I believe that the current cultural, political, economic and spiritual uprising taking place in the US that is fundamentally driven by young people needs a circle of elders, too. As Richard Rohr documents in his reflections on living into the gifts of the second half of life, there is always a quiet, advisory role for older mentors and given our current tumult that is true in spades. The energy, experiences, anguish, rage, and passion of youth need trusted older allies to be sounding boards and interlocutors in a shared quest for the Beloved Community. And I mean quiet advisors - not mouthy, cranky complainers - but mature friends and counselors who have been around the block a few times. The almost cynical but essentially wise old preacher, Qoheleth, in the Hebrew Bible's book of Ecclesiastes testifies that there is nothing new under the sun.

Vanity of vanities, says the Teacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What do people gain from all the toil at which they toil under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises and the sun goes down, and hurries to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south, and goes around to the north; round and round goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they continue to flow. All things are wearisome; more than one can express; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, or the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, “See, this is new”? It has already been, in the ages before us. The people of long ago are not remembered, nor will there be any remembrance of people yet to come by those who come after them.

A surface reading of the testimony of the old Teacher evokes cynicism and weariness. And that is a part of the truth. But as his insights unfold, I sense an invitation to appreciate the rhythm of life, the pattern of change, the descent and ascent of the Paschal Mystery that includes arising into blessings.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

The Buddha speaks of suffering as well as compassion. Jesus tells us that each day has enough woes within it without adding our own worries. The old Teacher is clear that in the circle of life we will know celebration as well as sorrow. And this is where quiet, time-tested mentors as allies have a role to play in social transformation. Staying healthy is one way I can be an asset rather than a social liability as time passes. I saw today that the jazz pianist, Herbie Hancock, turned 80. He is vibrant, creative and stands as a humble mentor to younger artists. Let's say that I have some work to do in his area - and want to pursue it with gratitude.