sometimes I have to trust God is big enough that I can be small...

 Yesterday I had the privilege of sharing a brief homily at our weekly Friday prayer gathering at L'Arche Ottawa. Here is what I offered.

READING: The grateful heart recognizes that each day has been given to us as a

gift. This gift is the love of God who fills everything. Each moment is an opportunity to say, “I will accept this with a heart of thanks even if it is difficult.” In Thomas Merton’s book Thoughts in Solitude, he speaks about the grateful heart and its need to recognize the love of God in all things. He writes, “For the grateful person knows that God is good not by hearsay but by experience.” 

REFLECTION: Some days during our Covid lockdown have been better than others for me. Most of the time, I manage the solitude simply fine; I like being quiet and without multiple interruptions. Most days I work on a project at home, do some study and prayer, some writing, check in with our children and grandchildren, take care of the dog and then fix a lovely supper for Di and myself. But sometimes – and I think this is true for everyone no matter how grateful – the weight of our waiting gets to me. It grinds me down – and tires me out even though I haven’t done very much. What I am learning is that I can still be thankful to the Lord by being honest and saying, “Gracious God, I love you and give you thanks for this day, but I really need a break – some extra rest – even some time to feel the blues.” Our God is big enough to keep loving me even when I feel small. Or afraid. Or confused. If I try to pretend everything is fine, I am not being real – and while God continues to love me – nothing gets better. Sometimes I just need a time out. Maybe you do, too. Knowing we can be down, or sad, or weary and still give thanks to the Lord has been an important lesson for me. And, like Fr. Merton says in the reading, “I know its fine with God because I have felt God’s love even in those down times.”