When they said repent... I wonder what they meant?

As I was sitting yesterday, waiting to get my hair cut, I read these words:

The divided life comes in many and varied forms... Dividedness is a personal pathology, but it soon becomes a problem for other people. It is a problem for students whose teachers "phone it in" while taking cover behind their podiums and their power. It is a problem for patients whose doctors practice medical indifference, hiding behind a self-protective scientific facade. It is a problem for employees whose supervisors have personnel handbooks where their hearts should be. It is a problem for citizens whose political leaders speak "with forked tongue."

Parker Palmer makes it clear in A Hidden Wholeness: the Journey Toward an Undivided Life that we have each been called beyond our inner divisions into integrity. That is, integral living - "the state or quality of being entire, complete and unbroken" - a way of being at home in our own skin, at peace with our own soul and at rest with our own conscience. "Come unto me," Jesus said in Matthew 11: 28 and "I shall give you rest." John's gospel promises much the same when the mystical Jesus tell his disciples: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. So do not let your hearts be troubled; neither let them be afraid." (14:27)

Two promises are implicit in this calling into integral living:  rest and trust. Palmer notes that an undivided life is not about ethics. "The divided or compartmentalized life, at bottom, is not a failure of ethics. It is a failure of human wholeness." He goes to note that many people in positions of power have a "well-rehearsed habit of holding their own knowledge and beliefs at great remove from the living of their lives." They have all studied ethics and professional boundaries ad nauseum. 

So if we approach the pathology of the divided life... as a problem to be solved by raising the ethical bar - exhorting each other to jump higher and meting out tougher penalties to those who fall short - we may feel more virtuous for a while, but we will not address the problem at its source. 

What is needed instead is a inner bridge-building brigade that gently works to

link our souls to our deeds. Our culture does not value the inward journey. It celebrates only the bottom line and what we can see, control and posses. But singer Carrie Newcomer, writing in her morning reflection, notes that there is a truth greater than the lowest common denominator of the market place:

One of our true tasks on the road to wholeness is learning to trust our own soul's wisdom. There is something healed and whole within us that is growing in the quiet and safety of our secret hearts. It grows in small steps and rarely large leaps, so we celebrate the small indicators. But take heart, be assured, listen - a seed is where the widest most gracious branches begin.

I sense that for me personally - and for our community of faith, too - these next few years will be saturated in this kind of caring for our souls. Not only is this essential for our personal well-being, but it is clearly the path of loving the world into greater health.  Leonard Cohen, our contemporary ancient prophet of all that is sacred and true, put it like this when he in the song "The Future" -"the blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and it has overturned the order of the soul."

Thoughts on christian formation before my vacation...

NOTE:  Here are my worship notes for this Sunday - June 22, 2014 - my last before two weeks away for rest, reflection and renewal. They are in pretty rough form, but you can still get the essence, yes?

INTRODUCTION

I have discovered over the years that almost every clergy person wishes that their congregations were biblically literate – that the working majority of people knew ALL the core stories of the Old and New Testaments – and could use them in shaping their everyday behavior.  Others among the ranks of those we call pastors would settle for liturgical literacy – knowing why and how we do what we do in worship – because the liturgy – or order of worship for each Sunday – is a sacred way of living that invites us to enter each moment and day in the spirit of being GATHERED into God’s grace, REFLECTIVE about everything that is said or happens, REFLECTIVE at the close of each day about what we learned and experienced of God’s presence, and then moving forward as a BLESSING for ourselves and others.

St. Paul expresses what is often at the heart of every pastor I have ever known: When we are lowered into the water, it is like the burial of Jesus; when we are raised up out of the water, it is like the resurrection of Jesus. Each of us is raised into a light-filled world by our Father so that we can see where we’re going in our new grace-sovereign country.

But the TRUTH of most churches – ours included – is that life is just too freakin’ busy and demanding for most people to become biblically – let alone liturgically – literate.  I was talking with my sister Karen two weeks ago at our daughter’s wedding….

So while it is true that Jesus told his closest disciples – Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don’t deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don’t deserve me. If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me – for most of us it just doesn’t happen. 

·   Or maybe it is better to say that it doesn’t happen with the depth and verve and intentionality that we preachers want and expect. But it DOES happen… slowly and tenderly – with integrity and ingenuity – it does happen in a variety of ways – and YOU are the proof.

·   So with respect for the very real demands on your lives AND the call of Christ to grow deeper in faith what I want to share with you are my deepest dreams about what a ministry of Christian Education and Formation might look like over the next few years in our church.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this explicit and vulnerable about what I hope and dream for when it comes to disciple-making among us.  So, please listen carefully – and then tell me how it strikes you. And, look, you don’t have to be “nice” – not cruel or snarky – but if something seems weird or just not right, I’m counting on you to tell me, ok?

INSIGHTS

I’m going to take my cue from St. Paul who was known for cutting to the

chase.  In today’s text he’s reminding people that when they were baptized – and when they made a conscious decision to follow Jesus as Lord and Savior – their lives needed to look and be different from the status quo. Paul said:

Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer at sin’s every beck and call! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ’s sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That’s what Jesus did.

·    As people born again by forgiveness, our lives need to be shaped by gratitude and grace.

·   As women and men who have experienced God’s love in our flesh we must honor one another’s body, treat NO ONE as a commodity or means to an end and find ways of bringing hope into every situation – from the bed room to the board room or class room.

·   And as those who have been fed with Christ’s healing grace from the inside out, we are to be people whose priorities are BIGGER and DEEPER than simply having more things, striving to be successful only in the world of commerce – not that those things are wrong, they are not – but they are not to be our deepest obsession.

Let me stop here to see if you are still with me:  what do you feel and think about the notion that those who follow Jesus must live lives that SHOW this love?  Lives that are different from the status quo – lives that embody the values of forgiveness, hope, peace and caring for the common good – what do you think of this?

·    Do you know the old saying that disciples are MADE not born? Disciples come from training rather than abstract thinking.

·   The really old evangelicals used to put it like this: the church is always just one generation away from extinction.  And their point was that we have a sacred responsibility to pass on the love of Jesus to the next generation – and to others in our own generation, too.

And as I’ve thought about what that might look like, I’ve come to see that there are three parts to my vision:  children; youth; and adults.  All three are important – and all three can happen even in a small church like ours – if we are creative and faithful. 

·   But one of the essentials and non-negotiables for doing Christian Formation for me is that we START with adults. Children learn by what they see the important adults in the lives doing – and if the adults in a church don’t take disciple-making seriously, their children won’t either.

·   One of the reasons so many young people left our tradition over the past 50 years is NOT because the conservatives had better music or coffee or fellowship and study groups – although that was often true, too. No the reason so many teens and young adults left is because church didn’t matter; it was no different from the Lions or Kiwanis club. It was a collection of nice people doing nice things that everyone else was doing, too.

And there was NOTHING life changing or challenging involved: there was no inward sacrifice, there was no outward discipleship and it really didn’t seem to matter what you believed because for about 50 years, our way of doing church was more about being NICE than being FAITHFUL.  All people want their lives to mater – especially young people – and when all we could give them was playing nice… well, we’ve seen the results.

·   So the FIRST thing a Christian Education and Formation ministry needs to have is a STRONG AND VIBRANT ADULT PROGRAM of discipleship.

·   It should be challenging, creative and honest – it should met adults where they live and help them grow in both Christ’s love and Christ’s strength – and it should be saturated in grace.

And at the very least I think my ideal dream adult formation ministry would include:

·   An annual spiritual life retreat that gave busy people a chance to rest and pray and think in beauty and quiet.  There might also be ALL CHURCH retreats that are inter-generational, but without time to rest and think in some degree of solitude it is really hard to for us to know where God is calling us.

·   A few small study/action/reflection groups built around the felt needs of its members.  Example:  Jesus teaching the disciples on the Emmaus Road after the resurrection.  It was only in the doing – and the asking deeper questions – that their lives were changed.  A few examples:  church council questions – a group geared for parents with children approaching puberty – a gathering of young professionals in business who want to live the values of compassion in an aggressive market place. These small groups could be focused on men’s spirituality – or women’s spirituality – they could have to do with aging parents or disabilities…

·   Three seasonal studies that would take place both in worship and after church that are linked to our ministry and mission in the world:  in the fall that might be eco-justice and river clean-up – in the winter it could be an aspect of peace-making – and in the spring it might focus on community renewal through Habitat or Heifer International or… who knows.  The key would be helping us all make the connection between our faith and our actions in the world.

That’s what I’m thinking about for adults – and I started with us for a reason – unless WE get it and DO it, our children won’t even notice.  Thoughts…?

For children I think there are three things that are essential, too – and we’re doing two of them:

·   First, more than anything else our children need to spend time every week with loving guides who model Christ’s love.  These teachers tell stories, but the content of the lessons is less important than the love that they share. And that is something we do and I give thanks to God for it.

·   Second, I pray to the Lord that our ministry might also embrace a commitment to holding at least one meal every week where parents and children would sit down together and talk about the Bible story for the week. This would require practice and ingenuity – it wouldn’t be easy for some right away – but if you talked intentionally with your children about the ethical implications in their lives of the weekly bible stories, you would be raising up a crop of disciples. 

·   And third, throughout the year we find ways to include our children and youth in worship festivals that are fun, creative and intergenerational.

Tell me what you are thinking:  good, bad, crazy, impractical?  What are the obstacles?  What’s missing?

And then there are our YOUTH:  I ache for our youth to have a mentoring program that includes initiation rites for girls as well as boys.  I am particularly concerned that our culture is raising up selfish, soft and self-absorbed men who don’t know how to use their strength and passion for the care of the community…

·   I am a big believer in mission trips – where deep conversations and fun times are mixed with times of quiet and prayer and service.  These are life changing…

·   And the time has come to create a combined youth group of the downtown churches that meets regularly, shares leadership and resources and gives our young people an alternative to just hanging out…

CONCLUSION

When I was first starting out in ministry I read these words by Sr. Joan Chittister and they have haunted me for over 30 years:  There IS a way for people to live calmly in the middle of chaos, productively in an arena of waste, lovingly in a maelstrom of individualism and gently in a world full of violence – but it takes practice.  Another pastor put the challenge like this:  most of the people in my church ADMIRE Mother Theresa, but have no idea how to become a person with such deep peace and integrity.  Again, it takes practice – and a very specific type of practice.

My hope is that we’ll keep talking and praying and thinking about what practices we are willing to commit to together as this summer unfolds.  For in doing this we will grow closer to living within and amidst the community of God for our generation.

The prophetic work of Jon Stewart...

As a rule, I don't forward or share comments about the political foibles and / or blunders of people I disagree with on Facebook or in my blog. Look, God has given me a super-abundance of loving grace in my days and I want to live more out of gratitude than "gotcha." What's more, being snarky just does not advance the "community of God." 

Don't get me wrong: I still LAUGH at some of the jibs and jabs that partisans post on social media. Some of it is damn brilliant and drop dead funny. But as a rule, I don't think it helps anything for me to the source of sharing these things with other people. I am a pastor. I want to encourage careful listening and deep engagement. I ache for more common ground not additional angst and polarization. And I gotta practice what I preach.

And then came Jon Stewart's recent segment about the current campaign of self-serving and sanctimonious swill being shared yet again by America's ever arrogant but all too ill-informed hawks in support of the Iraq War. He is merciless when it comes to the political garbage being advanced by these politicians - and he does it with humor not cruelty. Make no mistake, Stewart is a partisan who is as liberal as they come. Generally he is an equal opportunity satirist who can skewer the Left as well as the Right. But he is also a man with a deep moral conviction that self-righteousness should be exposed and hypocrisy should be challenged. To my mind, his humor often takes on the truth of the ancient prophets of Israel.

+ Think Amos: I hate, I despise your festivals and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies. Even though you offer me your burnt-offerings and grain-offerings, I will not accept them; and the offerings of well-being of your fatted animals I will not look upon. Take away from me the noise of your songs; I will not listen to the melody of your harps. But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. 

+ Think Isaiah: Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? Then your light shall break forth like the dawn and your healing shall spring up quickly.

+ Think Mary the mother of Jesus: My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me and holy is his name. His mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation. He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty. 

With a penetrating clarity, Stewart lets humor expose the horror just below the surface of so much double-speak and posturing. What's more, in a culture often too busy to go deeply and inured by compassion fatigue to even notice the suffering we create in pursuit of power and greed, Stewart grabs our attention and demands a response. Today I give thanks to God for Jon Stewart! 

The Holy Trinity as intimacy with the divine...

Two short thoughts about living into the beauty of the Holy Trinity (the appointed Sunday for this past week) which has been dubbed one of two suicidal Sundays in the liturgical calendar for pastors (the other being Ascension Sunday.) One preacher put it like this:

The doctrine of the Trinity is not a form of divine mathematics, nor a holy riddle one must simply accept by faith. More than a numbers game, the Trinity is an affirmation of the truth about the God we discover revealed to us across the pages of the Bible.

To borrow from Douglas John Hall, the Trinity invites us to know God as: 1) over us; 2) with us; and 3) within and among us all at the same time. It is both a way of thinking mystically about the abiding presence and nature of God, and, a way to know and experience deep intimacy with the One who is holy.  This is number one: the Holy Trinity is both a way of knowing God and trusting that God's love will never leave us behind.  St. Augustine wrote:  Why [then,] should we go running round the heights of the heavens and the depths of the earth looking for him who is with us if only we should wish to be with him?

The second thought about the Holy Trinity is that it invites and encourages us to live with others in such a way that treats no one as a "thing" but rather always as part of the divine and beloved whole. Nobody is a cog.  No person is a thing to be used to get what we want. All people - and plants and animals and parts of the earth - are integrated in a sacred intimacy.  We know this when we confess: I will weep when you are weeping, when you laugh I'll laugh with you; I will share your joys and sorrows til we've seen this journey through.

I didn't get a chance to preach/teach on Trinity Sunday because my dear friends and guests, Peter and Joyce, were with us to share some of their experiences from their assignment in Palestine and Israel. I was blessed to have them here and would not have traded it for the world. And, I've been thinking of how our embrace of the the Holy Trinity enriches our life of faith, hope and love.

On father's day...

As a father on Father's Day I have to confess that when God gave to me the joy and honor of being with two incredibly talented, savvy, witty, beautiful and creative daughters as they wound their way into womanhood, it changed my life for the better beyond all measure. And I wouldn't trade even one moment of the journey for anything in heaven or on earth. I have learned so much from these two souls - and had my heart enriched so profoundly - that I consider it a sacred privilege to be known as their dad.

The poet Rilke once put it like this - and this rings true for me.

“sometimes a man stands up during supper
and walks outdoors, and keeps on walking,
because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.

And his children say blessings on him as if he were dead.

And another man, who remains inside his own house,
stays there, inside the dishes and in the glasses,
so that his children have to go far out into the world
toward that same church, which he forgot." 

SO HERE'S A MUCH BETTER CHOICE OF SONGS...

Letting the feast settle in deeply...

All week long I have been basking in the joy and love born of our daughter and son-in-law's wedding. So rich and tender and real...

The wine of Love is music,

   And the feast of Love is song:

And when Love sits down to the banquet,

   Love sits long:

Sits long and ariseth drunken,

   But not with the feast and the wine;

He reeleth with his own heart,

   That great rich Vine.

I certainly experienced all of that and more last Saturday.  I also encountered this that springs from the pen of Jane Hirshfield.

Today when persimmons ripen

Today when fox-kits come out of their den into snow

Today when the spotted egg releases its wren song

Today when the maple sets down its red leaves

Today when windows keep their promise to open

Today when fire keeps its promise to warm

Today when someone you love has died

     or someone you never met has died

Today when someone you love has been born

     or someone you will not meet has been born

Today when rain leaps to the waiting of roots in their dryness

Today when starlight bends to the roofs of the hungry and tired

Today when someone sits long inside his last sorrow

Today when someone steps into the heat of her first embrace

Today, let this light bless you

With these friends let it bless you

With snow-scent and lavender bless you

Let the vow of this day keep itself wildly and wholly

Spoken and silent, surprise you inside your ears

Sleeping and waking, unfold itself inside your eyes

Let its fierceness and tenderness hold you

Let its vastness be undisguised in all your days

There is much more to write about but time is precious and I have to head to the train station to get my honey.  More as the weekend unfolds.

Finding grace at Matt Tannenbaum's bookstore...

From time to time the fog burns away long enough for me to see the sacred being revealed in the midst of the ordinary encounters of my life. Today was one of those days. After a tender and insightful midday Eucharist, we took a quick trip into Lenox for a late lunch.  My friends from Canada had flown into the USA on Porter Air - a firm working out of Toronto - that flies to a variety of places in New England and Northeastern Canada. As they were showing me the "in flight Porter magazine" they mentioned that the Berkshires were featured.

"Hmmmm" thought I, "wonder what they have chosen to feature?" Well, in addition to MassMoCA and the Norman Rockwell Museum there was a picture of Matt Tannenbaum's BOOKSTORE. (check it out at: http://bookstoreinlenox. com/) "Hey, I could take you there if you like and you could say hi!" So, away we went - had a great pub luncheon - and then headed across the street. I introduced my guests to Matt and told him the story of the Porter Airline book. He burst into the biggest smile: "You just made my day..." Then he told us the story of the photographer contacting him last fall and wanting to feature him, etc. And now, nine months later, it had come to pass - and I brought some folk into the shop as the result of this very article and picture.

Well, that set off a browsing spell that turned into a deep conversation at Matt's wine bar. We shared stories of the weddings of his daughters and mine, our friends' recent assignment with the World Council of Churches witness for peace work in Palestine, quotes from books, stories of long lost loves and the power of faith and hope. "Faith," he reminded us, "is indeed the assurance of things hoped for..." (Hebrews 11) 

When we left three things were clear:  Matt had ministered to our souls with grace, tenderness and wisdom in a MOST secular setting; we were all taken up by the Spirit beyond ourselves - or maybe more deeply into ourselves (or both) for a moment in time that we all recognized as sacred; and we could have missed it all so easily if we weren't prepared to go with the flow and simply rest within the fullness of the moment.  

We left enraptured by this encounter and awed by its beauty. As Hebrews says just two chapters later:  Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. 

Bienvenue mes chers amis...

My dear friends Peter and Joyce from Thunder Bay, Ontario arrived today in Boston:  it is SO wonderful to see them.  They have been dear to my hearts since their last visit to our digs four years ago.  Since then so much has taken place in all our lives - so we started to connect the dots tonight at dinner.  This Sunday they will bring a message to church during worship and then share some of their experiences and insights from their recent assignment in Palestine and Israel.  Please join us @ 10:30 am this Sunday - June 15th - if you can. I have been blessed by our friendship and give thanks to God they arrived safely.

1000 beautiful ways to kiss the earth...

This Saturday, as the wedding of my blessed daughter took place to her beloved husband, an assorted group of strangers became one mystical body for a few moments. I am always stunned but sated whenever this sacred transformation takes place. Sometimes it happens in worship, but not always. I've tasted it at Springsteen and U2 concerts. Once it washed over me during an encounter with the Grateful Dead. I've been nourished by this blessing during moments of "centering prayer" at a monastery. And certainly I felt myself embraced by this phenomena on the night Barrack Obama won the 2008 presidential election and entered that park in Chicago.

Two very clear truths seem to come into focus whenever this happens: first, there are moments when beyond words, our hearts discover a love we hold in common that is more powerful than all our differences; and second, time as we usually know it evaporates until all that matters is now. As 70 of us stood before the 200 year old maple tree that became a canopy for this ceremony, I thought of one of the readings for Pentecost from Joel: I will pour out my spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old shall dream dreams and your young shall see visions. Even on the male and female slaves in those days, I will pour out my spirit.  I also thought of Psalm 90: a thousand years in thy sight, O Lord, are but as yesterday when it past.

It is only natural that my mind would turn to Scripture - that has been my rock and foundation for most of my adult life - so even when the wedding liturgy did not, I heard the whisper of the Sacred in the readings from Octavio Paz and A.A. Milne. They were perfect readings for this wedding and I loved them. As as they happened I realized one of the promises of Pentecost - that we will hear what is holy, beautiful and true in our own language - cuts through all our differences, yes? Rumi says that there are 1000 ways to kiss the earth and as Saturday's ceremony matured, we all bowed and honored the holy:  pagan, christian, jew, buddhist, foodie, young, old, gay or straight.

After yesterday's brunch, as the couple shared the afterglow of the feast with family and close friends, my heart was drawn to this poem by Robert Bly. It both conveys something of the timeless unity that washed over us as we showered the bride and groom with our love, and, speaks to the numinous knowledge that embraces this couple even beyond any awareness.

A man and a woman sit near each other, and the do
     not long
At this moment to be older, or younger, or born
In any other nation, or any other time, or any other
     place.
They are content to be where they are, talking or not
     talking.
Their breaths together feed someone whom we do
     not know.
The man sees the way his fingers move;
He sees her hands close around a book she hand to
     him.
They obey a third body that they share in common.
They have promised to love that body.
Age may come; parting may come; death will come!
A man and a woman sit near each others;
As they breathe they feel someone we do not know,
Someone we know of, whom we have never seen.

As the sun was setting and I was cutting the grass before the rain, this song was playing in my heart...

Pentecost 2014...

Since Easter I have been "following my heart" when it comes to

worship planning. For most of our time here I have been strategic: there have been times when we pushed the envelope in style and content in worship in ways that went way beyond many people's comfort level only to then rest back into traditional hymns and liturgies. This has given us a gentle ebb and blow of tried and true experiences mixed with innovative experiments in our quest of celebrating the Living God in a creative and playful style. This is also a good way to help congregations create a rhythm of expectations in their worship life - especially those places that have tended to be formal and static on Sunday mornings.

But I have to say that since Easter I have favored a much more "wild" energy in my planning: there is always a POINT to the wildness - I detest change for change sake - but it has been one experiential encounter after another for the past seven weeks. We've feasted together on different Israeli foods, we've danced Jewish line dances and sung new/old prayers in Hebrew. We've incorporated new group songs that have challenged the congregation to stretch their ability to joyfully participate in public worship. And we've laughed and prayed deep and hard. It has been a joyful resurrection series, but now we're into Pentecost.

Once again we feasted around the communion table: there was LOTS of pita bread and olives and my colleagues Lauryn and John prepared Middle Eastern lamb on skewers. We danced and prayed in gratitude to the Holy Spirit. We made the link between Moses receiving the 10 Commandments on Shavuot
and Jesus giving the disciples his new law - to love one another as servants - on the Christian Pentecost. For part of worship, our children were the worship leaders. In another part our choir sang a motet born of an old tradition that was stunning. And our band sang "One Voice" as a prayer song to guide us through the next six months of Pentecost.

All the while I kept thinking of my daughter and her new husband and the vows they shared. As she told me this afternoon when I stopped by for brunch after worship, "You may have been the only one who chuckled when I finished my vows saying: 'And I will love you with all the madness in my soul.'" She, like her poppa, found something of the sacred in Springsteen - and she shared it in spades during their ceremony yesterday. And THAT is what I have hoped for and often experienced during our post- Resurrection worship:  sharing and loving God and one another with all the madness, passion and integrity in our souls.

It did my heart good today to see young and old, gay and straight, new and time-tested, male and female, pagan and Christian and Buddhist and who knows what else all together at the feast. Like the Boss said, let's face it: tramps like us, baby we WERE born to run! And dance and sing and feast and care for one another with compassion, too.

And when it's is over I want to say....

Today my youngest daughter will be married in a ceremony at their hill town farm.  It is a stunning setting that evokes the couple's values as well as their commitment to both community and contemplation. I don't mean this in any overtly religious way, but rather as a way of engaging the world. It is an open, simple home set away from the hustle and distractions that often infect our best intentions. There is space to walk and think, garden and soak up the silence. It is just the right spot to sanctify their vows.

Last night there was a laid back prelude to the celebration as family and friends slowly gathered at the farm from around the country. There were last minute chores to complete. Introductions were shared and new people discovered old connections as conversations about music, children and the state of American education filled the air. In time, beer and pizza appeared as still more travelers found there way into the quiet comfort of this country retreat.

As we drove home in the darkness, I kept drifting back to the words of Mary Oliver. Once she wrote:

to live in this world

you must be able
to do three things
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,to let it go

There is a sweet "letting go" of sorts taking place for me as I celebrate this daughter's wisdom and abiding commitment to love. It is, of course, a nuanced departure as she has been her own woman for many years - and has always been her own focused self. I guess what I mean is that as I join this ceremony of commitment and support, I sense something of Oliver's Trinity of life assignments within me all at the same time: there is a holding of our common history in love, a cherishing of the blessing she will always be, and an honoring of this new reality in time and space.  As a father, her marriage reminds me of another Oliver saying:

Instructions for living a life. 
Pay attention. 
Be astonished. 
Tell about it.

My prayer for this day is simple and comes from Ms. Oliver, too.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. 

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument. 

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

So here's to schmoozing with the extended family - playing lawn games after the ceremony - and resting in the quiet grace of nature's beauty with these dear and gentle souls.