Why do I find myself in the same place OVER and over again...

In the journey of the soul, it is easy to become distracted.

"Prayerfulness," writes Robert Wick, "calls us to meet anger (or distractions) by taking a step back, looking at our emotions and thoughts and beliefs that are producing them with a sense of intrigue instead of blame for others or ourselves." What a satisfying and challenging word:  intrigue!  He goes on to note that authentic spirituality dawns upon us "when God becomes as real as the problems and joys we face each day."

We grow and deepen when we seek - with a sense of intrigue - to fathom new knowledge about ourselves at times when we feel upset and vulnerable. It is a shame to waste these opportunities by running away of becoming defensive... nothing will change in us even when God is giving us the opportunity to become freer and to see how humility can teach us to be strong. (Prayerfulness, p. 82)

Today it is raining - again - and soon it will be snowing and sleeting - again.  As I've learned over the years, I need to listen to what the music I am playing is telling me about the inward/outward journey because that is how I encounter part of the deeper wisdom of the soul.  Small wonder, therefore, that I've been almost obsessed with Daft Punk's "Lose Yourself to Dance." It may not be the right song to start our Good Friday encounter with song, story and silence this year, but it is certainly speaking something of the sacred to me on a personal level.

I know you don't get a chance to take a break this often; I know your life is speeding and it isn't stopping. Here take my shirt and just go ahead and wipe up all the
Sweat, sweat, sweat:  lose yourself to dance!

As a call from beyond myself, I hear two things in this song (or maybe three.)

+ First, it is a reminder that I am searching once again for another musical expression/experience now that our recent jazz work has taken a break. Our very satisfying church band keeps getting stronger, to be sure, but I also want to play and grow musically in something unrelated to church. Over time I've discerned that too much church makes me cranky and uncooperative. So the time has come to start making this happen because while there are a few new musical possibilities starting to emerge on the horizon, they are going to take some time to bear fruit. Just knowing how important this is to me, however, is a source of hope. Like the hipsters sing: I know you don't get a chance to take a break this often, I know your life is speeding and it isn't stopping. 

+ Second, I love the invitation to "lose yourself to dance." Abandon, intrigue and playfulness is where I find myself saturated in sacred joy - and much of what has been going on in my life of late has not been very playful -it is  all good and important, but not playful.  So that's another clue that there is an imbalance that needs the corrective of being lost to dance. We're going to take a long walk in the woods and rain with the dog soon just to do some thing embodied that isn't about results and productivity. Time has come to sweat, sweat, sweat!  (Or dance, dance, dance - or play, play, play - as I already do enough work, work, work.)


+ And third I suspect that in addition to finding a new musical expression for creativity and growth, I need to let go of a few of my wider church commitments.  This may be a season just to be a pastor and love my flock with tender attention and presence. What does the Psalm for this week say? With the Lord as my shepherd, I shall not want... hmmmm?

This video version of "Lose Yourself to Dance" makes me smile... dig it.