NOTE: Today I continue trying to flesh out some of the specifics of a spirituality of tenderness. I close with a summary of seven polarities for our consideration - and will give more attention to this list over the next few days - as I try to unpack the ways these polarities might serve as authentic spiritual practices. I suspect, however, that my list is both incomplete and evolving, so please know at the outset that I am not implying definitive wisdom here nor a monopoly upon the truth. This is a work in progress, so let me know your reactions from time to time, ok?
As I discern some of
the distinct practices of this emerging spirituality of tenderness, let me put
forward this hunch: the core of this spiritual discipline begins with an
acceptance of the eternal inward and outward polarities of our lives and ripens
as we come to trust that God is helping us harmonize them. It is a practical
mysticism that honors the movement of wisdom, energy, faith, hope and love in
our lives without harsh judgment. It also acknowledges the ups and downs of our
hearts and minds in a way that surrounds them with grace. I think of Psalm 131:
O Lord,
my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.
The Psalmist recognizes the reality of anxiety, but moves towards
rest. She knows that there is mystery beyond human comprehension and so chooses trust.
She also grasps that hope is grounded in nourishing an embodied calmness
born of God’s loving presence - and that it is elusive - real but never fully realized, satisfying but never under our control.
Henri Nouwen, Jean
Vanier, Jim O’Donnell, Kathleen Norris and Gertrud Mueller-Nelson are all clear
that authentic spiritual wisdom is fluid and always in transition, too. In To Dance with God, a book of sacramental
practices designed to help faith communities experience and embrace the rhythm
of each liturgical season, Mueller-Nelson asks us to learn to “dance with God.”
That is, to live into the flow of life changing truths that include the quiet
fermentation of Advent, the gentle joy of unexpected gifts at Christmas, the
somber sorrows of Lent that are often prelude to the ecstasy of new hopes on Easter as well as the bold presence of the Holy Spirit in times, places and truths that often shock and mystify us all. When we learn that our spiritual lives are forever in motion – even when they
do not correspond correctly to the rhythm of the liturgical year – then we are
alive and open to the blessings of the Spirit. In her book, Here
All Dwell Free, she puts it like this:
Vanier invites us to learn how to journey
“from closedness to openness, from the illusion of superiority to vulnerability
and humility.” And Nouwen amplifies this awareness of our polarities when he
writes:
To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to
enter into the desert of our loneliness and to change it by gentle and
persistent efforts into a garden of solitude. The movement from loneliness to
solitude, however, is the beginning of any spiritual life because it it is the
movement from the restless senses to the restful spirit, from the
outward-reaching cravings to the inward-reaching search, from the fearful
clinging to the fearless play.
This is the paradoxical
journey of faith: we never fully arrive and yet we are never completely absent.
Jesus pointed to the wisdom of trusting our inner polarities as part of God’s
presence in us when he spoke of the nearness of God’s kingdom: “The kingdom of God is not coming with things that can
be observed; nor
will they say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ For, in fact, the kingdom
of God is within and among] you.” (Luke 17: 20-21)
To attempt to achieve something some have
called a lasting spiritual balance of thought, word and deed is simultaneously
cruel – such a goal is always beyond our reach – and dishonest – as we are
always in motion until death (and maybe even then, too.) So rather than sink to the acquisitive and punishing metaphors and worldviews of a crass, bottom-line religion of the marketplace, a spirituality of tenderness invites us to “dance with God.” Ours is a life in motion – a journey – not a
goal or a destination. Our spiritual lives are not about
achievements or winning and losing, but acceptance and trust no matter where we
are on life’s journey.
To attempt to achieve something some have
called a lasting spiritual balance of thought, word and deed is simultaneously
cruel – such a goal is always beyond our reach – and dishonest – as we are
always in motion until death (and maybe even then, too.) So rather than sink to the acquisitive and punishing metaphors and worldviews of a crass, bottom-line religion of the marketplace, a spirituality of tenderness invites us to “dance with God.” Ours is a life in motion – a journey – not a
goal or a destination. Our spiritual lives are not about
achievements or winning and losing, but acceptance and trust no matter where we
are on life’s journey.
The
Hebrew Scriptures can be helpful in giving us images of what this "dancing with God" looks like in
our lives. From the creation stories of Genesis 1 – the on-going movement of
God’s Spirit in the world that includes both chaos and community – the Exodus
journey – that takes God’s people through the wilderness into civilization – to
the wisdom literature of the poetic sages and prophets, we are shown how God's people are called to enter into a journey towards balance that honors the
polarities of life as we currently comprehend them. That is to say, there is
never perfect understanding – It is an illusion - for now we see as through a glass darkly. Our task is to trust what
has been revealed, discern God’s still small voice along the way and join the
flow of life that is always in motion. As the wise old preacher of Ecclesiastes
3 puts it:
To
the end, please consider these seven polarities involving the ebb and flow of
God’s invitation to us in our real lives. They offer us assistance in seeking
acceptance, a measure of serenity and a way to nourish tenderness.
·
Birth and death
·
Sound and silence
·
Giving and receiving
·
Contemplation and action
·
Rest and play
·
Community and solitude
·
Sorrow and joy
I like the way
Reinhold Niebuhr has articulated this in what we know as the Serenity Prayer:
God, give me grace to
accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the
things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time, a
Accepting hardship as a
pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did, this
sinful world as it is, not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will
make all things right, if I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be
reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with
You forever in the next.
Amen.
Over the next few days I will take a shot at clarifying how I have experienced using each of the seven polarities as a spiritual practice.
Over the next few days I will take a shot at clarifying how I have experienced using each of the seven polarities as a spiritual practice.
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