peace and practice...

Getting ready for our "house concert" has been a gift and a challenge for me: the gift arrives in both the hospitality and the music; the challenge has to do with trust. In my little song, "Small Is Holy," I confess that "small has shown me strategies for leaving hell." I didn't want to overstate the case: I still experience hell on a regular basis - mostly as deep seated shame well rehearsed and all too well nourished - so I haven't vanquished it nor have I escaped untouched. What is different now is knowing that there is a love greater than my feelings and experiences. If I use some of the time-tested contemplative practices to reclaim a measure of grounding in grace, then the powers of hell within are diminished. So let me be clear: it takes practice to trust God's grace. It takes practice to make good music and share hospitality with compassion, too. But working to reclaim or remain grounded in grace takes practice to a whole other level. At least for me. Beauty and solidarity are rewards unto themselves with an immediacy that invites repetition. But trust? And spiritual practice?  Real but elusive. - and always in search of renewal. 

One of the practices that nourishes trust for me involves my modest connection with L'Arche Ottawa. Jean Vanier suggests why in this extended quote from the Introduction of The Heart of L'Arche:

God has given L'Arche as a gift to this particular time in history. Today, so much emphasis is put on technology, on scientific knowledge and on individual success that people, forgetting the importance of the heart and of faithful relationships, sink into depression and despair. Society often seeks to eliminate people who are weak, before their birth or through euthanasia, arguing that they are a nuisance and cost too much. Through L'Arche, God reminds us of the essential purpose of human life: out of love,we have been created to love. We are called to use all our energies and gifts to create a more just and loving society, where each person, whatever their culture, religion, abilities or disabilities, has a place.... God is love. God is goodness, compassion and forgiveness. L'Arche is not a solution to a social problem. L'Arche is a sign that love is possible, and that we are not condemned to live in a state of war and conflict, where the strong crush the weak. Our communities embody the belief that each person is unique, precious and sacred.

Much like Brother Roger said at the founding of Taize - we are a parable of festival in creation - L'Arche offers a comparable charism: carrying for one another's bodies as a sign that each person is beloved. Those claiming the L'Arche tradition and practices cherish each person while nourishing tenderness. Vanier notes that the 150+ small communities of L'Arche are not solutions to the wounds of the world, but rather signs of what is possible. My experience, inwardly and outwardly, affirms this testimony. Specifically, I am learning three interrelated truths about trust:  .

+ It is possible to live in respect with others rather than competition. 

+ Honoring the importance and value of each person helps me value my own brokenness.

+ None of this is automatic: I must learn to live in the tension of conflict as the honest way to peace.

Personal and inward spiritual practices are still foundational - especially when you wake up in the middle of the night consumed by fear or grief or anxiety. Using my breath as a prayer has proven to be a life saver. And now I am starting to use a multi-sensory meditative tools that was recently summarized like this: 

When overwhelmed or ungrounded, afraid or confused, look around you and find:

1) Five things close to you that are real and that you can see;
2) Four things that you can touch;
3) Three things that you can hear;
4) Two things you can smell; 
5) And one thing you can taste.

This is called grounding. It can help when you feel like you have lost all control over your surroundings. Or when you feel overwhelmed and bewildered.

For me - and perhaps you - finding, practicing, and trusting strategies to get through hell are essential.  The good news is that they are available, simple, and free. The bad news, or at least the complicated news, is that their blessings are not automatic. Like the old musician's joke puts it: "How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, my friend, practice." Lord, may it be so you for me and you.