Since before February, I've been wrestling with HOW do I keep connecting with those beyond my immediate faith community who are important to me now that I have taken on the assignment of being an Interim Pastor for a few years? I put my weekly spirituality reflections, Small is Holy, on hold in the hope that I would be able to find another day or time for them. To be candid, today I had to admit that while I still don't have the answer to this I wanted, two inter-related truths have bubbled to the surface that speak volumes:
+ First, given my new commitment to nourishing the faith community of Palmer, including worship leadership and pastoral care, after linking the music we're making locally with the church it's become clear that most of my time, energy, and focus has been consumed.
+ And second, as Meister Eckhardt might suggest: this IS my answer. Somewhere along the way I read Matthew Fox quoting Eckhardt as saying: Reality is the will of God; it can always be better but we must start with what is real. The Serenity Prayer affirms much the same truth: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What I must figure out is how to share our music work beyond the confines of each gig as music is where I currently connect to those beyond my faith community.
Initially, this wasn't clear. I wanted to find a way to keep doing what I had been doing even while adding a bold new commitment. Truth be told, however, I have neither the wisdom nor the energy to do more outwardly than give myself to the church and music along with an essential commitment to family and caring for Di. It's humbling - and rather sad - to realize and accept that along with the new blessings are some unexpected consequences causing my to relinquish a discipline that I've savored for four years. What I sense now, however, is that Small is Holy needs to morph into a music /poetry connection - I don't yet know how - but that seems to be where my journey has taken me thus far. Stay tuned for future developments.
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