The privilege of thanksgiving eve...

Every year just before our Thanksgiving Eve gig I get spooked - and anxious - both about the music and whether I've been a bear of a director.  Most of the time it is my shadow shit talking, but it is always good to check in and listen to what is being said, yes?  I don't have to embrace or follow it, but I've learned that I damn well better listen.  Because here's the thing:  it is complicated getting 25 musicians of differing abilities, genres, ages, perspectives and interests to move in the same direction with integrity and compassion. Thank God I don't have to choreograph them in a dance! 

Still, the task at hand is nuanced:  together we need to figure out how to give enough of ourselves to enhance each singer's song without stepping all over it. Sometimes a performer's exuberance gets in the way - he/she rushes a tune rather than rests into its groove - while at other times everybody loves the song so much they want to add just a little bit of their soul to the totality and it winds up muddy and cluttered rather than clean and beautiful.  And sometimes it turns into a total train wreck that we'd best let die a natural death - even when the song is a cherished one.  See what I mean?  Think of it:  jazz masters alongside novices, intuitive rock and rollers next to classically trained church singers, guitars, drums, horns, percussion, keys and bass with 15 vocalists - and some young artists, too.

So after doing this for 30 years, here's a few of the things I've figured out:

+ Like much of life and ministry, everybody shows up to the first practice with varying levels of commitment and preparation.  Note: about a month before we meet, I've already sent out practice video links, song lists, charts and cheat sheets.  And still some arrive without having opened their email even once while others have memorized most of the forms for each song.  Some musicians are so busy they can only make one rehearsal in five while others are there every night.  Some can read music and others play by ear.  Some want clear charts and printed scores for everything and some are intimidated by anything too formal. It is much easier having an homogenized chorus who only want to follow what the director requires - but that isn't our charism.  We've been invited to practice creating a musical community that not only integrates a variety of ages and musical styles into one performance, but we've been encouraged by the Spirit to do it in a way that is beautiful and soul satisfying.  Like the brothers at Taize have said, "we have been called by God to be a parable of festival and joy" for this moment in time.  So that's what we attempt in practice and performance.

+ You cannot practice editing by committee - musical committees included.  If everybody in the band has an equal say about the final set list then the lowest common denominator wins.  Some folk refuse to understand this and that's where I have had to learn to exercise a tender but clear role as director.  We talk about how each song fits - I ask all the players to bring some of their songs to the table - and after working with them for a time we discuss how they sit within the whole.  Most of the professional musicians have said to me something like, "Thank God somebody here is making a decision so that we can all keep moving in the same direction!"  Some of the amateurs, however, think I'm too harsh about cutting out a tune that is tanking - or asking some players/singers to sit back.  They believe it is all about heart: if your heart is pure then you should be able to do whatever you want to share.  But that's called a talent show - in a church - where you don't have to audition or really deliver beauty - all you need to do is show up.  And I believe that there is a sweet place in our churches for these kinds of performances.  I LOVE them.  But a benefit concert for the wider public is not a place for the lowest common denominator regardless of the purity of our hearts.  Helping everyone come to see the importance of having one musical editor - who works collaboratively but decisively - is another growing edge for everyone involved - myself included.

+ This kind of gig demands heart and soul - and careful listening.  Linda Worster, a highly skilled veteran folk singer, said the other night:  "sometimes you can feel the love on stage between the performers as we listen and support one another.  It is heavenly."  It is truly heavenly and magical when that happens - but it requires being fulling present - with a commitment to listening carefully to the music as well as the heart and soul of the featured performer.  Not every note needs to be played.  Often what is left out is more important than what is heard.  At last night's gig, sometimes it was a single mandolin fill - or a plaintive harmonica riff from what felt like miles away - or the delicate interplay of soprano sax and trumpet - or a searing and fluid guitar solo.  Thank God the core of our background singers are precise and understated:  they add to the whole without calling attention to themselves. And I think they are so successful because they are all excellent musicians who let themselves be opened by the Spirit heart and soul.

+ I've discovered that all my obsessing about set lists matters - this is not something that works spontaneously.  There has to be room for lots of improvisation - in the flow of the night - as well as in each song.  But I spend hours exploring the arc of each set - researching how other artists put together the flow of their concerts - and then testing it out with our musicians.  Last night I pulled two songs out completely because given the energy of the crowd and players those songs would have been a drag.  They are great tunes but they wouldn't have kept the energy flowing. It was sweet when our 12 year old girl singer whispered to my wife sadly, "You mean we're NOT going to do 'Hootchie Cootchie Man?'  That's too bad."  (Only in this church, right?) Same with a proposed jazz instrumental early in the night - it would have added nothing to the groove - so I tossed it and we kept on moving.  There are those who say just go with the flow - and at a party, a garage band practice or even some jazz clubs I'm down with that - but not in a concert venue with so many variables.

+ And then there is this - which might seem like a no-brainer - but isn't:  everybody has to encourage everyone else and have one an other's back.  No egos, please.  No divas or prima donnas either because we're all in this together.  Like Springsteen makes clear, we are a community joined together by music and affection, so each player better make sure that everyone else is supported, loved and helped to bring their best to the table.  I've worked in some ensembles where this wasn't true - the director was a loose cannon and some of the professional players were just brutal towards the amateurs - so the tunes might sound perfect but they were empty.  I've played in groups where the opposite was true, too: everyone had a ball but the music sounded like crap.  Our goal and commitment is to find a way to share both beauty and fun - and that requires a ton of encouragement and help.

One of the poems that Sue Kelly read last night, "Bless Their Hearts" by Richard Newman, brought the house down - and cut to the chase:

At Steak ‘n Shake I learned that if you add

“Bless their hearts” after their names, you can say

whatever you want about them and it’s OK.

My son, bless his heart, is an idiot,

she said. He rents storage space for his kids’ toys—

they’re only one and three years old!

I said, my father, bless his heart, has turned into a sentimental old fool. He gets

weepy when he hears my daughter’s greeting

on our voice mail. Before our Steakburgers came

someone else blessed her office mate’s heart,

then, as an afterthought, the jealous hearts

of the entire anthropology department.

We bestowed blessings on many a heart

that day. I even blessed my ex-wife’s heart.

Our waiter, bless his heart, would not be getting

much tip, for which, no doubt, he’d bless our hearts.

In a week it would be Thanksgiving,

and we would each sit with our respective

families, counting our blessings and blessing

the hearts of family members as only family

does best. Oh, bless us all, yes, bless us, please

bless us and bless our crummy little hearts.

After 30 years of doing these Thanksgiving Eve gigs in four different faith communities - Saginaw, MI - Cleveland, OH - Tucson, AZ - and Pittsfield, MA - the power and promise of building community through beautiful and soulful music continues to nourish my heart.  It has been a real privilege to do this for all these years - and I am grateful that this year's gig was clearly the best ever. 

I hope to have some video to post soon - especially of Ethan Wesley playing like an inspired bluesman during "Jesus Is Just Alright with Me."  In the mean time, dig some of Leo's pictures as they capture some of the joy. (And please check out his blog @ http://artsindie.com/)

 

 

 

 

 

 

(all photos by Leo Mazzeo)

 

30 years of thanksgiving eve gigs continues tonight...

Tonight we open our 30th Thanksgiving Eve gig - and the fifth at First Church - with this poem on our way to Tom Waits' classic:  Come On Up to the House.

Three angels up above the street
Each one playing a horn
Dressed in green robes with wings that stick out
They’ve been there since Christmas morn
The wildest cat from Montana passes by in a flash
Then a lady in a bright orange dress
One U-Haul trailer, a truck with no wheels
The Tenth Avenue bus going west
The dogs and pigeons fly up and they flutter around
A man with a badge skips by
Three fellas crawlin’ on their way back to work
Nobody stops to ask why
The bakery truck stops outside of that fence
Where the angels stand high on their poles
The driver peeks out, trying to find one face
In this concrete world full of souls
The angels play on their horns all day
The whole earth in progression seems to pass by
But does anyone hear the music they play
Does anyone even try?

I think we'll have a good house - good local publicity and a note from a regional arts reporter - and there's been excellent networking among the artists.  It is always more fun to play for a full house - and we want to raise serious money for emergency fuel assistance.  So, let me put it like this: 

+ If you care for the wider community, come on up to the house.

+ If you support local, live music, come on up to the house.

+ If you want to nourish your soul with some honest and tender blue-eyed soul, come on up to the house.

+ And if you dig the ministry and mission of First Church to the arts community, you'd better come on up to the house.

There's no cover but a free will offering will be taken to support the Pittsfield Area Council of Congregation's winter fuel assistance fund.  "Our hope is that tonight you might sense a connection to all that is creative, wild and imaginative."  Like Mary Oliver says:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
   for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
   love what it loves...
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
  the world offers itself to your imagination,
  calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
Over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

So, please, come on up to the house...

Lord have mercy on my miserable soul...

I don't fully understand but after a three and a half hour practice tonight for tomorrow's show, this song is going through my head.  When somebody from church asked, "What should we wear for the show?" I kept thinking of this video.  Oh, Lord have mercy on my miserable soul...

A time for peace...

In the midst of all our Thanksgiving preparations, I don't want to ignore the reality of Israel and Palestine.  One of the best and brightest, Rabbi Michael Lerner, puts the truth like this:

All the usual suspects are cheering on their respective sides in the latest struggle between Israel and Palestine being fought out at the expense of some Israeli and more Palestinian civilian lives. I’ve been overwhelmed with sadness at the tragic loss of lives and harm to the bodies of Israelis and Palestinians, and outraged at all those who continue to justify their side and demean the other, implicitly cheering on the violence even as they officially deplore it! Enough is enough. Stop the violence immediately!
 
First step: the international community, led by the U.S., should impose an immediate cease-fire on all sides of the struggle, and should introduce an international peace force to restrain and if necessary arrest anyone involved in any side of this struggle who is acting to continue the violence. That force should be equally charged with arresting any military figures on the Israeli side or guerrilla forces on the Palestinian side that are attempting to engage in hostilities.

Second step: hold an international conference to create a politically and economically viable Palestinian state living in peace with Israel (details on what that would look like are in my bookEmbracing Israel/Palestine which you can order online at www.tikkun.org/eip, or on Kindle format at Amazon.com).

To read the full article, go to: http://www.tikkun.org/nextgen/12349. 

Here is a prayer for peace from Rabbi Elizabeth Tikvah Sarah:

El Malei Rachamim, God Full of Compassion, who heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds, we ask You to show all Your children the way of love and compassion, so that hatred ceases to scar their lives.

Ein Chayyim, Source of Life, we call upon You to send Your abundant blessings into every home, Israeli and Palestinian, so that new hope may overcome old fears.

Adonai Tzadik, Righteous One, who exhorts us to pursue Justice, we fervently pray that a spirit of righteousness may prevail, so that both peoples find the courage to reach a just settlement of their differences.

Oseh Shalom, Maker of Peace, who teaches us to be seekers of peace, we entreat You now to spread Your tabernacle of shalom over all the inhabitants of Your land, and to support the peacemakers among both peoples in their efforts to walk the path of reconciliation, so that a just peace may reign supreme at last – bimheirah beyameinu, speedily in our own day.

And let us say: Amen.

Shadows and insecurities...

Yesterday I shouldn't have emphasized the burdens - it goes with the territory, yes?  What I should have said is that when I put together a BIG artistic production, all my insecurities and shadow stuff rises to the surface.  And when I'm really tired, like Robert Bly once said, the shitty ones talk really loud and take up all the space. So, my challenge - always - is to shut up long enough to trust God knows better than me.

A deep and long sleep helped - so did working with my tech buddies to resolve the monitor glitches (that had to be done, too) - so things rocked tonight.  "Play the gig," my man in Thunder Bay keeps saying and so we're into the groove.  Here's another taste from last year featuring Rebecca Leigh (and the whole band) on "O Happy Day."  Can this sweet Jewish lass sing gospel or what?  (Reminds me of "Walkin' in Memphis...") And then dear Andy Kelly nails "Our House" (with some musical help from his friends Dianne, Jon and Sue.)

Getting ready for thanksgiving eve is a blessing and a burden...

One of the things I've learned over the years is that pulling off our local Thanksgiving Eve music benefit is always a blessing and a burden.  It is a ton of fun - working with some of the finest people AND great musicians - is a deep honor and joy.  AND there is an enormous amount of work behind the scenes that goes into making the music beautiful - and today I'm beat.  After worship, it took four hours to get the sound system and monitors set for the 25+ musicians who were scheduled to practice at 4 pm.

And, as always, there are still some glitches to resolve re: mix and balance.  And our new stage lay-out didn't work re: intimacy so that has to be reworked, too. We return to the drawing board tomorrow at 6 pm in the hopes we have some of the tonight's problems resolved; but sure as the sun will rise there will be unexpected new ones to sort out.  That just goes with the territory:  both blessings and burdens.

Here's a clip from last year's show that puts it all in perspective - and is the fundamental reason I keep on keeping on.  First Dianne and Jon nail a lovely Over the Rhine tune.  And then Hal get mystical when he and the horn guys take things to a totally different and blessed level.  If you are in town on the this coming Wednesday, please stop by for a real treat @ 7:30 pm.

Come on up to the house part...who knows?!?

Ok so in many ways I am a techno-dinasaur.  In anticipation of THIS year's music festival I finally figured out a way to post a few clips (with more to come) from LAST year's gig.  That was a rockin' time - lots of blue eyed soul- and this year ups the ante, too.

Check out Rebecca making this setting of an ancient psalm come alive - and then dig what my buddies can do with Miles.  OMG I am so pumped...

I'll be there...

The word is in:  apparently my brother's recent seizure came about in the perfect storm of  having to travel to and from SF to DC - twice - on the red-eye express, the anxiety and stress of our sister's memorial service, leaving behind a well-loved wife who had to help their very old dog move into death and sundry concerns and worries about finances, housing and so much more.  I am grateful that there are no tumors to confront.  I am relieved that this seems to be more about the confluence of family craziness than something profoundly neurological.  Thank you for your loving encouragement and prayers...

About Tuesday of last week I sensed my fears lifting - not because anything had yet changed - and certainly not because I had suddenly figured out a better way of managing the stress.  No, my hunch is that I was simply blessed by the always mysterious and sometimes elusive presence of the Holy Spirit who brought me a taste of the "rest" Christ promised. Craig Barnes, soon to become President of Princeton Theological Seminary, once wrote this about grace and salvation:

John the Baptist was certain that when the Son of God arrived, he would bring a winnowing fork to separate the chaff from the wheat and throw it into the unquenchable fire.  But there is no salvation in such judgment. Salvation comes through a loving Savior who finds us and takes on our lost condition.  As the poetry claims, "For our sake he made himself to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

Barnes goes on to talk about the movement of the Spirit in the lives of Jesus and Mary and others who were all assured that they were God's beloved. He then brings it all home for me with these words:

Until we hear this voice from heaven claiming that we are cherished by God who is well-pleased with us, we will never be able to truly cherish anyone or believe that we are their beloved as well.  We have to receive love in order to give it. And the primal love has to come from the God whom Jesus called Father... The work of the Spirit is to adopt us into the Son's beloved relationship with his Father, making us all heirs of God, join heirs with Jesus Christ... And until we receive that love, which has come by sheer grace, we will spend the rest of our lives in the futile efforts of (trying) to make our parents well-pleased. Even parents who were good at affirming their love for their children can only provide a pale approximation of the grace that comes only from heaven.  The human soul yearns most of all to be cherished by its Creator.

In other words, grace - self-worth - rest is a gift born of God's love for us as beloved.  We can't earn it, we can't buy it and we can't negotiate with the Sacred to get just a little piece of it. Barnes observes:

Churches are filled with people who try to find their worth by making themselves necessary... when what they yearn for is to be cherished.  No one finds self-esteem by being necessary.  It only comes through being loved, which can only be offered as a free gift. God loves us not as a necessity, but as a choice. Only those who believe this are free to allow work to be just work and not their savior - and there is no other way to enjoy working.

Somehow that's what I sensed again last week - and it has made all the difference. At band practice, Rebecca sang a killer version of the Jackson 5's "I'll Be There." She tore the roof off the Sanctuary in practice reminding me that this will be a highlight of our up-coming Thanksgiving Eve show.  And about half way through the song I had a passing recollection that the Jackson's used to be my sister Beth's favorite group.  As a little girl she couldn't get enough of those guys.  I believe her first 45 was Michael Jackson's "Ben."  It all started to feel right and as Rebecca sang I just settled back into the groove and let the music carry me. 

Loving the world as it is and searching for beauty...

From time to time I am asked to comment - or act - in an overtly politically partisan way.  Mostly I ignore these requests because at this point in time, the way I live my life by faith, the way I spend my time and money and the way I share my energy reflects my deepest values. I have come to a place where my peace-making is highly personal - caring and being present with people in need is where I have found I can do the most good - so I don't have much time or interest in making vague or even ideological statements in support of this or that cause. I guess being noticed for my politics has no appeal for me at this stage in my life and ministry.  

+ Don't get me wrong, I contributed time and energy - personally - to the re-election of President Obama. And I gave resources to Elizabeth Warren, too although she strikes me as both too abrasive and arrogant to want to spend any time with and I like Scott Brown more as a person - I just couldn't stomach the thought of a right-wing majority appointing the next Supreme Court justices.

+ I am a passionate supporter of Churches for Middle East Peace (http://www.cmep.org/) and encourage their work as reasoned and compassionate. Same is true for Faithful America (http://www.faithfulamerica.org/index.html) and ONE (http://www.one.org/us/). I pray for Church World Service and help them raise funds for international self-help projects (http://www.churchworldservice.org/site/PageServer?pagename=crop_main) and still believe in the work of Three Cups of Tea (http://www.threecupsoftea.com/) who were acquitted of any and all alleged financial impropriety.

+ Locally I give time and support to BEAT (http://www.thebeatnews.org/)  and PACC (http://www.pittsfieldcongregations.org/).  My hope is that over the next year a local congregation-based community organization will come to fruition as I resonate with their grass-roots perspective.

But traditional politics no longer brings me life - and I'm not interested in spending much time with traditional politicians any more - even though I follow their actions intensely. For the fact is my soul is nourished by collaborating with artists who are grounded in compassion and beauty.  And more and more I realize this is where God has called me to share my time, resources, energy and prayers. (Here's an OLD clip from and early Thanksgiving Eve show...) 

Thoughts about thanksgiving eve 2012...

One of the many reasons I love our Thanksgiving Eve gig is that it gives us a chance to explore the depth and breath of American popular music.  We've got jazz and soul, gospel and folk, rock and roll, funk, country and hymns, too.  But here's another, often unspoken reason I love doing this gig:  it gives the musicians a chance to be totally creative.

Most working musicians - and many of us committed amateurs - find ourselves playing on somebody else's dime:  it may be a local show production, as a part of somebody else's band, following the needs of worship or whatever.  Don't get me wrong, making sweet music is ALWAYS a gas.  But there is something liberating about this gig because in addition to getting every one's input about what they want to do - and backing one another up - we also get to play FOR one another, too.  Let things rip and see where the creativity carries us.  That is one of the reasons why everyone keeps coming back year after year; we've created a little community of affirmation and encouragement among the musicians and it just keeps getting better and better.

And so while some of the audience may only want 60 minutes of tunes, on this special day I say WTF:  we're going until we're worn out.  I've already cut things back to try to bring this bad boy in at 2 hours - but once we start jamming watch out!  (BTW I'm going to try to get some of last year's fun up on YouTube if I can find the DVD.  It was smokin' and this year looks to be even better.)

In a sanitized and healthier way this feels like the clubs Monk and others used to head for after hours:  only people who REALLY love the music would dig it - they played til all hours of the morning - but those who got it got it in spades.  Same is true for this show.  And another sweet benny is that we get to raise money for a good cause, too!  Starting Sunday @ 4 pm we'll do a complete run through and work out all the horn and harmony parts.  On Monday and Tuesday those who can - and want to - will tighten things up for a few hours.

Then it is show time on Wednesday, November 21st @ 7:30 pm!

Thoughts on christian formation for the 21st century...

I am not certain when this realization ripened for me - it was probably 15 years ago or more - but being a church leader now is NOT about performing certain functions with clarity and panache.  No, being a leader of Christ's body today has to do with training everyday, ordinary people to LIVE like Christ in the world.  David Lose, at Duke University, put it like this in a recent article:  "It’s time for pastors to think of themselves as coaches and teachers, people trained not only to do certain tasks well but also to help others do them for themselves."

Think about how most ministers are trained in seminary. They are trained  - we were trained! - to do things. In particular, we were trained to execute certain skills -preaching, teaching the Bible, offering pastoral care and counseling, and so forth. Ministers are trained to perform certain religious tasks on behalf of a congregation.

This “performative” model of ministry - so called because it emphasizes performing certain activities -- served the church well for the last century or two. It was particularly effective when the larger culture was, if not Christian, at least highly supportive of church life. For many years, in fact, going to church was considered not simply normal but actually desirable, a mark of education, civility, and good moral standing. Further, and not all that long ago, the larger culture actually helped ministers tell the Christian story by teaching it in the public schools and showcasing it on televised Christmas and Easter specials and the like.

Curiously, while we all know those days are pretty much over, we haven’t necessarily changed the way we think about professional ministry and often find ourselves surprised that we now live among a generation of Christians who a) no longer privilege going to church over other activities and b) do not know the Christian story very well. As a result, more and more of our people simply don’t find the Christian story helpful in navigating their daily lives, and so increasingly wonder why they’re spending their Sunday mornings in the pew.

In response to this drastically changed situation, pastoral leaders also need to change. In particular, we need to stop executing religious skills for our people and train them to perform them for themselves. Otherwise, they will continue to be spectators, appreciating the faith but never really learning how to do it for themselves.

I share this extended quote because as I enter a new phase in the renewal of my faith community, I have come to the conclusion that this training needs to be shared with families in a creative and bold way.  Most small, struggling once-mainstream-but-now-side-line congregations like mine believe that if we make our children happy with sweet things we will pass the faith on to them by osmosis.  Well, this hasn't been working for 40 years, but they still keep at it.  It doesn't matter that the truth is this: only strong and faithful adults pass on the faith to their children.  So the key is helping parents grow in commitment, discipline and experience rather than creating more distractions for their children.

To be sure, it is much easier to just have a fun time on Sunday morning than create new resources for 21st century parents who are stressed-out to the max.  It is much easier to keep on rearranging the chairs on the deck of the Titanic than change direction.  But it is clear to me that doing the same old shit while expecting different results is just crazy. So  we're going to give it a shot - growing pains, fear  and trembling not withstanding- and the jury is still out if we can make it.  Lose states the case clearly like this:

When my kids were young, we started them in violin lessons. They’ve been playing now for about a decade, and I sometimes think about where they’d be if each week they spent their hour-long lesson listening to their teacher play. That wouldn’t have been a bad way to spend an hour, when you think about it, as over time they would have learned much of the Western canon of violin music, to appreciate classical music more generally, and to recognize and value good technique and musicianship. But despite all this, they never would have learned to play the violin themselves.

There have been several generations of ministers trained and commissioned to perform the Christian story to the delight and edification of their congregations. But while we have trained a multitude of Christians to appreciate the Christian story, very few of them can tell it themselves, either as a guide to their daily decision-making or to share with others. And I think the only way to reverse this trend is to re-make our self-image.

Now this new/old way takes more time.  It also means that we must raise the standard from the lowest common denominator to something more sacrificial.  M. Craig Barnes once wrote that the call of Jesus ALWAYS takes us away from something - in this case our outmoded habits and safety zones - because "conversion" is always the place where our fears meet and confront our trust in God's presence.  When it comes to shaping future generations of faithful people, Lose asks:

Why can’t everyday Christians learn to interpret Scripture, make connections between faith and life, and share their faith with others -- all of which are elements of preaching and teaching? And why can’t our congregations learn to visit, listen to, encourage, and pray for each other -- elements of pastoral care? Of course they can learn these things, as long as we teach them.

So let’s shift our self-image from doctors and lawyers to coaches and teachers, highly skilled people who are capable not only of doing these things very well, but also of the more challenging task of helping others to do them for themselves.

My faith community is about to enter Advent with a whole new model - empowering and encouraging parents to LEAD what Fr. Ed Hays calls the "domestic church" in the home - and clearly the old line leaders are worried.  Not only are they fearful, but I don't think they don't trust people to rise to the occasion.  My hunch, however, is this: if God trusted humanity enough to raise Christ Jesus from the dead, so we can trust ordinary people to want to help their children grow in faith and grace.  I'll keep you posted but... away we go.