How can this be?

One of the challenges of entering into our up-coming sabbatical is bumping up against a variety of anxieties: some are my own - my desire to help as well as control things at church - to say nothing of the sense of loss I am feeling even as I find new tasks on the road to leaving. Last night, for example, as we sat in choir practice and started to work on songs for May, Di told me she melted into a pool of tears: "We're not going to be here to share this with the choir - and they sound so good!" Isn't life strange? We ache and work to depart and, at the same time, know we will miss being away? Other anxieties come from those we know and love that are projected onto us. Very, very strange - wonderful - but strange.

We shared a round of drinks with band members last night - not everyone could be present - but the core was there and that was sweet. Today, at midday Eucharist, I realized that I will celebrate communion just one more Wednesday before we hit the road - and just two more Sundays before our 4+ month hiatus. Life and ministry is very, very strange indeed. It is good to feel so connected and to know I will miss my dear congregation even in my eagerness for a change.

This Sunday, our celebration will explore the rest and renewal praying through music offers - and we'll bring three unique contributions to the Sabbath day.  First is the vocal take on the Miles Davis classic, "All Blues." Second is our stripped-down version of Paul Winter's "Canticle of the Sun and Moon." And we'll close it all out with a very open and plaintive reworking of "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel by way of Herbie Hancock, Pink and John Legend. To kick worship off we'll celebrate with Ellington's "C Jam Blues." That will be swinging. 

Later that day, we will hold an Ecclesiastical Council for a young man who is ready to move towards ordination. I am glad I can be present for this final step in his journey into the institutional church. I am stepping away from making contributions to the wider church because at this moment it is clear to me that life is too short. At the same time, I am hopeful that young men and women can bring their gifts in pursuit of greater integrity and compassion. 

So many tasks to still accomplish before we leave on May 1st: tomorrow in addition to phone calls and house work, I have to get our car inspected and line up a few appointments in each of the cities we are going to visit before Montreal. Incredible: the countdown close tells me it is only 15 days - 363 hours - before this all takes place. Thanks be to God.