hoping not to change anyone...

Every week I put together three "sermons" or messages for Sunday morning. The first is usually my "cranky" version - all the things I want to complain about - that are really complaints against myself but I'm not paying attention. I almost NEVER share this version in print or aloud because my first draft is deadly. Not untrue, but not of the Lord because it is half truth.

The second message bubbles up after I've walked around with my snark for a few days letting it co-habitate with my weekly Bible study. Often a few days of sitting with my message causes me to literally dream new dreams and edit out most my rhetorical complaints. Truth be told, the gospel regularly convicts me of my own need for grace - and stuffs a sock in most of my snark. That leads me to Sunday morning when I usually speak with only minor reference to my printed and amended notes. I have come to trust the Spirit of love to guide my words.  St. Paul was right: the Spirit intercedes for us with sighs too deep for human words.

This week I was REALLY cranky in my first draft - both with myself and those I love in the faith community - but nothing is worse than a preacher who doesn't listen to his own sermons. So I've been walking around with draft number one and totally hating it.  And just to make certain I got over myself, and stopped listening to my feelings of insecurity, I read these words from Jean Vanier today:

Can we accept people with disabilities as they are? When we want to change people, we have power. We have generosity. We have goodness. But we create a cleavage when we want to do good things for people.

My deepest desire as a person who follows the way of Jesus is to shut up and simply accept people as they are. Sure, we can always be better, but let's cherish what is and leave the rest to the Lord. Let me take the plank out of my own eye before carping about the speck in another's.  To say that version two is being born would be an understatement because round three is already starting to take shape - and it is only Tuesday.