Rethinking...

From time to time, I have to confess that I've changed my mind.  When Amy-Jill Levine was with us in December - and I bought a copy of the Jewish Annotated New Testament - her words (spoken and written) helped me realize that too often I haven't celebrated the abiding spirit of grace in the Old Testament.  It has been there all along, of course, but in my commitment to preaching about the radical inclusivity of Jesus - fueled no doubt by some of the less thann nuanced insights of the Jesus Seminar - I have sometimes overstated the case - but now have clearly changed my mind. From the call of the Exodus to the Psalms and the poetry of the Prophets, the heart of the Hebrew scriptures resonates with the Lord's love as radical and extravagant grace.

I have changed my mind over the years, too when it comes to what I emphasize in ministry:  these days the counsel of Niebuhr rings loud in my mind for he simply asks that we keep repeating the mantra, "now we see as through a glass darkly... only later shall we see face to face."  Anything more is hubris - with increasingly dangerous implications, too.  Some want their ministers to "speak truth to power."  Others want us to fix their wounds - or take away their pain. 

Today, for example, at our midday Eucharist, I found myself listening to dear friends speak of their hurt, anger, fear and heartbreak.  Earlier we had listened to together to Psalm 146 in Peterson's reworking:

Don't put your life in the hands of experts
who know nothing of life, of salvation life.
Mere humans don't have what it takes;
when they die, their projects die with them.
Instead, get help from the God of Jacob,
put your hope in God and know real blessing!
God made sky and soil,
sea and all the fish in it.
He always does what he says—
he defends the wronged,
he feeds the hungry.
God frees prisoners—
he gives sight to the blind,
he lifts up the fallen.
God loves good people, protects strangers,
takes the side of orphans and widows,
but makes short work of the wicked.
God's in charge—always.
Zion's God is God for good!
Hallelujah!

After a time of silence, we said, "O what a time we live in - a time when the experts are so cruel - and the call for a clear alternative that offers the compassion of Christ is so needed."  To which one wise soul added, "Yes... but never as an expert, right?  More like a companion."  Exactly right and that's what I mean about changing my mind in ministry: mostly it is better for me to shut up and try to listen deeply to the wisdom of my companions. I can't do it nearly well enough, but at least I am learning now that this would be the better way. Yes, there may be times to speak in a prophetic way - and from time to time I might even have an insight that is helpful - but mostly ministry for me has become an act of being present.  Niebuhr was so right:  now we can only see as through a glass darkly...

Tomorrow night at our jazz gig, I will have a chance to do something else that is a part of my changing mind: I will be part of a band.  Not the leader - not the organizing force or MC - just the bass player and sometimes vocalist. And that has been a very important change for me. I love my band mates.  I treasure their talent and ache to collaborate with them.  But I have to know my place, live into it fully and honor it, all the while working closely with the drummer to keep the groove steady.

Sin is anything that separates us from God - or, to put it another way - sin is an effort to separate God from the part of creation we are holding. According to the Apostle Paul, the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23) - spiritual death. That's why we live in a society filled with people who have so much but whose spirits have withered. It's why they try to content themselves with frenzied activity about things that they know are not worthy of their lives. It's why the talk is small. It's because they cannot find life-giving holiness in any of it. But in their souls the old longing persists to find eternity in the small things that make up a life. (p. 34, The Pastor as Minor Poet, M. Craig Barnes)

Over the years my sense of self and calling has changed - and it is still changing. What's more, I know that I can get distracted or worn-out and fail to listen to the Spirit calling me towards deeper change. In this I have known spiritual death and sin. This week's reading from the poet prophet Isaiah brings it all home for in his charge to Israel, I hear a word to my own soul:  those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.

Have you not been paying attention?
Have you not been listening?
Haven't you heard these stories all your life?
Don't you understand the foundation of all things?
God sits high above the round ball of earth.
The people look like mere ants.
He stretches out the skies like a canvas—
yes, like a tent canvas to live under.
He ignores what all the princes say and do.
The rulers of the earth count for nothing.
Princes and rulers don't amount to much.
Like seeds barely rooted, just sprouted,
They shrivel when God blows on them.
Like flecks of chaff, they're gone with the wind...

Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.

God is the Lord of creation - so rest in this blessing.